they've a bitter bit of sting
the acrid sour anthems
I've finally begun to ring
I'm "too heavy" you say
that I should write with levity
think of rainbow colored ponies
drink the chalice of poison Hi-C
Much as I'd love to be
a bright whiter shade of pale
tempting as cyanide is not
mine's a Bleaker street type tale
My biography was ever
tart with lacrimal note
so I owe no explanation
and I'm not taking a vote
you demanding I defend
my verse's tear- salty word
shows you weren't listening
you never saw nor heard
you turn your back now
as you always did back then
against deaf-blind-muteness
why should I bother to defend?
there are none so deaf
as those who won't hear
none so obtuse as they who
harden eye, heart and ear
If you still insist on reasons
don't miss your hand pulling strings
flip the mirror roundside right
you'll see how you messed up things
you called me oversensitive
such hypocritical arrogance
YOU told ME to sunny up, you?
the death-eating vampire prince?
May I ask why it's essential
I sing a Nutra-sweet refrain?
what's in it for you to tart up
and candy-coat my memory train?
why the gaslighting nonsense
that the problem is the hurt one
that reporting harm is worse than
what and by whom hurt was done?
Eleventh hour awareness shows
you bound and gagged my voice
now your dirty blame shame game
exposes your abuse as a choice
you claim my remembrances mean
because I'm ashamed I'm to blame
what they reveal is you playing
your sick Twister DARVO game
but I guess I should thank you
your agenda demonstrates a lot
my shell-shocked brain now sees
that loving parents you were not
your overplayed your hand
the biter bit by her own fang
you're too up yourself to see
by your own rope you'll hang
so beware your slip is showing
you effed around and found out
your pink slip has been issued
you're fired for messing about
in this sorry song of mine
it's here we turn a corner
do an about face on shame and
be our lost child's chief mourner
their pride killed small selves
time the solipsists were leaving
forget their fanned out voices
get on with overdue grieving
time to permit myself to
repeat the shit they said
to evict rent-free squatter
flying monkeys from my head
I didn't think it needed
to be reiterated yet again
that tears too long unshed
just burn in endless pain
It ain't pretty inside me
it's a grubby rubbish pile
But to heal the yuck within
I must dwell on it awhile
if it's inconvenient to hear
if you cannot sit beside me
think how hard it is to live and
don't mellow my harsh reality
Keep your toxic platitudes
Save them for your rainy day
when your angst overflows
and everyone's gone away
I don't want your cheery
unicorns all sparkly brite
you scoop their rainbow poop but
beware, lest they come back to bite
I don't give a fat rat's arse
who does or doesn't like my song
It's my poem, I'll cry if I want
you're free to read or move along
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