Advent Week One Essay: Expectation and the Human Condition

Advent Week One: Expectation and the Human Condition
I did a lot of creative writing when I was young. I wrote about life before I had much experience. I was naive and idealistic. Here are my advent musings. Now I've lived more. I'm still idealistic. I still have Advent hope and expectation.
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Comparison Contrast Composition

Why Cats Are Better Pets Than Dogs
Pets provide companionship and love. Pets also make messes, noise and bad smells. Pets cause damage to person and property, and are generally a nuisance. Here's a sartorial comparison between at pet cats and pets dogs. Pet cats win (but not by much).
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Writer's Gardens In NYC: Creativity Venues

Ten Great Places for Writers in New York City
A description of ten places in New York City writers will find interesting.
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Writer's Block? No, Thank You ~ Satire in Verse

Back with more satire, this time in verse from Maria Roth at Associated Content. Writer's Block? No, Thank You
I don't have writer's block. I don't believe in writer's block. I have lots of other excuses for not writing today. Here they are, in a poem. (See? If I really had writer's block, I wouldn't be writing poetry.)
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Essay: Kudzu, A Southern Metaphor

So I said this month was comedy, specifically parody. But this is an good instructional example of essay from Maura Nicholson on Associated Content. Consider metaphor in this essay. We will go on with parody as well.
Kudzu: A Southern Metaphor
Kudzu's amazing ability to spread and proliferate may be the reason behind its becoming a metaphor. And its ability to come back year after year after being trampled and downtrodden may be the reason behind its becoming a metaphor for the South.
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Free Internet Literature and Writing Help

Free Web Resources for Literature Lessons and Homework
You have to crawl before you walk. And you have to read good literature before you write. These resources will help you to both read and write. 10 sites to get free assistance with literature lesson planning or homework. Includes study guides, lesson plans, activities, games, online books, ebooks, reference and resources.
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How to Kill Weeds (A Parody)

Next, we feature a favorite Associated Content Producer, The Barefoot, in his weed-whack at parody (pardon the pun, and all the plosives!):

How to Kill Weeds, Flowers and Your Lawn
Lawn maintenance is harder than it looks. Here are 5 easy steps to ensure you kill every green thing in your yard. It's easy, fast, and effective. Just follow me into the dust bowl that is my lawn.
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November Focus: Humor+Satire+Parody= Humody!

This month at the Writer's Blog, we begin a joyful romp through that delightful genre: comedy. But we're going to spin it slightly to my personal pet form of humor and comedy: parody and satire. I like to call this kind of humor: Humody. (what do you mean, 'that's not funny!' I know it's not funny. It's not supposed to be funny. It's just sort of cute...never mind. Pay attention!)

Parody can trip up some would-be writers. Parody or satire takes a ordinary, serious subject and pokes gentle (or not so gentle) fun at it. The trick is to find the weak spots in a subject, or the parts that are taken far too seriously and make jest at them. Satire-Parody or Humody is black comedy, film noir, mock-ups all mixed up in a fruit salad of humor.

We begin with a piece I wrote myself. I just shared in my social writer's network, Web Writer's that I was too embarrassed to share my own stuff. And then I thought, 'oy vey' what have I got to lose? A reputation? Nah...

So for this chilly potentially wet and unpleasant month of November, let's enjoy the lite side of life!

5 Reasons Why You Don't Need DSL
Whimsical but relevant overview of DSL. Reason One: Being able to use the phone and internet simultaneously? What? No more battles over who needs the phone and who needs the internet? With DSL, we can call and surf at the same time? No more missed calls? No more yelling at the kids to get off the net so I can talk to a prospective employer? Now while I admit that the screaming, swearing and arguing may get a little tedious and most of the household furnishings get destroyed in the daily fistfights, is peace at any price really worth it? How important are those calls anyway? We'd just find something else to fight over. Sanity and is pretty overrated anyway. And don't forget how much money you save on dial-up; enough to replace one broken window at least?

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Theater of the Absurd: Comedy Plays and Films

Top 10 Comedy of the Absurd Plays and Movies
Do you like parody, spoofs, satire, black comedy and silly, nonsensical humor? Then you will like these comedy of the absurd books, movies, plays and stories.
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Grant-Writing Basics

Grant-Writing with Students: Class Gardening Project
Grant-writing skills involve many core curriculum skills. This rubric guides teachers and students through the grant-writing process as a class lessons. Gardening money for classroom use is the focus, but this rubric adapts to many grant-writing venues.
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How to Write an Ad Campaign Jingle or Slogan

How to Write an Ad Campaign Slogan or Jingle
A jingle, in advertising vernacular, is a catchy phrase or slogan, set to a cheerful tune. The jingle ideally becomes associated with the product. Consumers world-wide, the manufacturer hopes, will remember the jingle and buy the product.
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Free Websites for Free Writing Help

Top10 Websites for Free Essay, Report, Composition, Creative Writing Homework Help
Websites that offer free English or writing homework help.Online communities, web thesaurus, dictionary, encyclopedia. Web literature guide and tutorials! Free!
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Mystery Writing Story Starters~ The Mysteries of Harris Burdick

Inspire and Enthrall Students with the Mysteries of Harris Burdick
Need a mystery story starter? Want to hold your students spellbound? Explore the work of Chris Van Allsburg's The Mysteries of Harris Burdick! Great mystery writing prompts for all ages!
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Hitchhiker's Guide to Time Travel AKA~ My Literary Venture into Parody

What to Do If You Are Warped into WoW, Runescape or other Medieval MMORPG
An overly cautious historian with a vivid imagination offers up-to- the-minute practical advice for anyone inadvertently or purposely traveling through time, especially to the middle ages.
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Common Writing Errors

Common Writing Errors
What are the most common new writer errors? In my experience, they are errors based on inaccurate ideas. Proof-reading cleans up grammatical, spelling, punctuation and format errors. How do we repair content errors?
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Poetry for Halloween ~ A Witches' Brew

Here's a free form poem for Halloween from Tracy Pawlukovich of Associated Content. Notice how Tracy's word choices evoke all the senses: sight, sound, smell, taste and touch. You can read more of Tracy's poems in other poetry forms at AC

A Witch's Brew
A free form poem, Halloween inspired.
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Oh what hallowed fears
on this eerie night
add a lizards tears
good gone awry
defer the smiles
in the hospice, they lie
the rules of joy
are null and void
the long black tail
of a mouser is next
and a gobbet of meat
from the little pest
bonanza of greed
is what this will bring
in this cauldron of black
oh, hear me sing
the specter of a prosaist am I
ghoulish and dark
add some bark of bonsai
boil and dance is whats up next
let the moon glow shine
on this pot of mine
bitter refreshment
for the souls of the dead
the sun is coming up

Fantasy Genre? Right or Wrong?

Are Fantasy Books Good for Kids?
Fantasy literature has been called unBiblical, immoral, unethical, addictive and dangerous. Is fantasy literature safe for children? Is it healthy? Does fantasy literature have any benefits for children. Read on and decide for yourself.
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Science Fiction Feature~ 'The Taskmaster'

New Feature: The Writer's Garden will begin featuring examples of well-written submissions if various content genres. Today we explore the science fiction genre with Daniel Thrasher, from Associated Content's The Taskmaster. Notice how he uses metaphor, syntax and timing to give us an inside-out look at what it would be like to see the world for the first time. Daniel's use of imagery is superb. His climax and denouement are perfectly timed.

The Taskmaster
There's an underground factory, mine, and living area for all Underlings. They complete tasks as transmitted to them by a Task Monitor in their heads. What if one Underling was suddenly, mistakenly granted that most magical of gifts: free will?
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Myspace Online Social Journal Writing

How to Write Your Own MySpace Survey
Did you know that online journals are a great place to hone your writing skills? Wanna write an avant garde Myspace survery that will have your whole community buzzing? Write your 'piece de resistance' survey with this guide.
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Create Blogs to Promote Content

How to Promote Content with Your Blog
If you want to increase traffic to your online content, page views, subscribers and readership, use this handy guide to create blogs for your content. Use these free internet resources and tools to create sensational blogs easily.
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Composition, Essay, Short Story and Narrative

How to Write an Essay or Composition
The word 'composition' can denote different several types of writing for different circumstances. A composition is a personal narrative, a short work of fiction or prose, an essay, a dramatic work or a poem. Each of these writing genres has its own rubric. Read on for writer guidelines on several types of composition: narrative, short story, and my dear friend, the essay.
Click here...

Write Your Online Profile Survey ~ Myspace or Facebook

How to Write Your Own MySpace Survey
Write some really awesome surveys to add a dash of color to your online profile, Myspace, Facebook or Live Journal.
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How to Write a Personal Profile
This link will give all the how-tos you need to make your Myspace, Facebook, or and other personal profile really stand out!

Write Searchable Titles

How to Write Searchable Titles
Understanding how internet search works will help you to write titles for your articles that will be found and read. This increases page views too. Popular internet search terms that have worked for me are included.
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Writing Mystery and Detective Fiction

'Detective' comes from the French 'detrere' -- 'to seek.' A detective story is an off-shoot of the mystery genre and, as such, its format is similar to that of a mystery. The detective story has some more definitive parameters, however.

Any good story contains several elements -- introduction, characterization, plot sequence, climax, denouement and conclusion. Essentially the mystery story is founded on detail and sequence. A mystery story does not need to be solved by the reader; it can be left open-ended. The detective story includes the same elements, but... read more!

How to Write If You Want People to Read Your Stuff

The Ultimate Guide to Increase Your Page Views and Performance Payments
Your complete one-stop guide to getting your content read, increasing your PV and Performance Payments. 25 secrets to success.
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