When you look back on past times
what is it that you see?
when I go back to back then
all I see is empty
No seriously. there is no thing
I recall with continuity
in my foggy effogged up
perpetual state of no memory
littered with busted driftwood
Like a Lake Michigan shore
sacrificed on campfire show
woodland gods seen no more
campfire other kids enjoy
not me, always seeing, never seen
never heard till she screams
and is hoarse from crying
then scolded for making noise
for feeling, for needing
for daring to exist after
her memory was wiped
wiped clean of good memories
leaving only the bad to remain
memory of the child erased
thrown out with the Christmas tree
For a kid who's been round the block
I contain so much within
I've been in so many places
and so many places live in me
but I never seemed to stick
no evidence I was ever there
no address to call mine
no DNA baked in to
the bricks and mortar
like an AI spirit in a digital
footprint-less, hands-free existence
in a perpetual incognito window
hacked, pirated, identity theft victim
hard drive wiped clean except for the virus
cyber bullying lives in memory
in my own hard wiring alone
no picture on anyone's wall
perhaps at one time but gone
to landfill fodder now
invisible behind the camera
cataloging others' selves, my own
mute, reaching out longing arms
till arms reach out empty too long
then you just give up
never really making contact with
those that reach back, a beamed up
soul failed reintegration
behind two-way mirror trapped
a cyborg, an entity not permitted
humanity where the dream
world is more real than
reality.
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