there was a song that I recall
how can we keep from singing?
about a God and love and a rock
to which they all were clinging
well I don't know the words
Or to what I should cling
I don't know this God they speak of
so of what am I supposed to sing?
Of all God's love and mercy
for you he's done a lot
he's redeemed and saved you
you miserable, ungrateful clot
I do give thanks, I promise
I do sing or at least I try
but whenever I open my mouth
nothing comes out but a cry
tsk, we sing like angels
to our God above
with pure and perfect pitch
about his wonderous love
you croak like a sleep talker
you must be insincere
only a fraud would fail
our God's sweet voice to hear
I'm trying to hear like you
but proud voices drown the sound
You're so very loudly singing
it makes my poor head pound
what are you talking about?
you make no kind of sense
we all understand God perfectly
it must be Satan makes you so dense?
I know you're righteously certain
you never question or doubt
but then you've never had to fear
for no reason being kicked out
Well you've just admitted
And that just proves us right
your fear overcomes your faith
while our virtue is shiny bright
(sexy guitar riff)
it wasn't a rock that saved me
I have no idea what did
there was never any rock there
and the lifelines all were hid
oh don't be so melodramatic
It couldn't have been that bad
you're too sensitive and showing off
just ignoring all the good you had
If this is what admitting gets me
maybe I should keep it hid
if asking for help gets shame
maybe it would be better if I did
yes please do, it's pathetic
or better yet admit you're wrong
This isn't shame that is speaking
it's deserved guilt choking your song
but where and why and how
what exactly have I done?
If I knew, I'd gladly admit
whatever terrible thing I'll shun
You should have read your bible
our precious Lord will show
all your wretched vile and bile
he'll make damned sure you know
But I've gone to the word, I cried
I found no malice nor comfort there
only love he had for some people
apparently none of whom were Mar
and before you ask I went
to mountain, desert and dell
I couldn't find my friend there either
have I missed him again, please tell?
If you don't get it yet, we're done
we've reached the end of our rope
you're stubborn, stupid and blind
of teaching you we have no hope
Oh please don't give up
though shaming you all are
you're all I have to guide
please don't pull away the spar
Tell me of this God you know
help me find him oh please
I am seeking and not finding
I'm cold and starting to freeze
Good grief, it's not rocket science
unless he is hiding from you ?
wait, what did you do to offend him
what awful thing did you do?
I try to see him, I do
I look and I call and I pray
but whenever I think I see him
he just seems to slip away
You don't pray enough then
if his face you cannot find
since we can always see him
it's you who must be blind
perhaps you're right, it's me
the story is always the same
I must have failed him too
I'm the problem, fault and blame
Now you have us confused
fix us another drink
you accept the fault and yet
we still don't know what to think
I just meant I really didn't hide
if you'll just listen you'll see
Like I said, I didn't turn on him
he was always hidden from me
(loud, slightly tipsy chorus voices)
Okay now we're seriously pissed
both the angry AND drunk kind
hidden, oh please, just stop
we're losing our collective tiny mind
(in child tone, sotto voce)
My friend was hidden by them
yet I think he wanted me to see
they all tried to block him
to keep me from him and him from me
(fading light on voice)
(growing light on chorus as if in rising anger)
oh don't you dare frame others
when you're the one to blame
You must have done something wrong
else why would you feel this shame?
(chorus, in increasingly slurred speech)
how can you ashk such things
such wickedness and shin
how dare you turn your back
and schnub your nose at Him?
(meanwhile, voice has left the building)
(chorus slightly sobering up)
if no one feels ashamed
and everyone claims to see
then no one has hid him from you
what a fekkin liar you've proved to be
you'll go to hell, you freak
that's all that's left to do
you've abandoned God
now he has no use for you!
(chorus, realizing voice had gone)
Moron! idiot! come back
don't you walk outta here
we're the ones to who'll be walking
out on you, my dear
we don't know you nor want to
we've no wish to be tainted
we've closed ranks and you're stuck
in this hellhole corner you've painted
(chorus fades out in mumbled, drunken meanderings)
(spotlight on voice, rising again)
Hello, It's me still drowning
to quote another song
still apparently feathered and tarred
still apparently wrong
my ship is sinking fast
faster than I ever thought it could
none of them came to rescue
did I ever think they would?
but as I go to earth
may I attempt one last stand
If I can't convince the hakken-krakks
can I at least make you understand?
So bear with me as I ponder
it's just starting to coalesce
maybe I got it all wrong ( I hope)
maybe I was enough, not less
perhaps it wasn't God I saw (and missed)
an imposter played his part
someone pretending to be him
to fool me from the start
when all you've known of parent
is a mother distant and cold
when papa doesn't love you
there's no heavenly father to behold
Could it be, I couldn't know God?
Cuz they said he was wrong side right
Was I fooled by the wrong one?
So's I'd never feel His warming light
maybe it wasn't the real God
that was pushing me away
now I come to recall someone
was always blocking my way
the more I think, I think
the more I see, I see
the God who loves those people
might, in point of fact, love me?
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