(This isn't a poem as much as an essay or mind meandering.)
I watched a video on a place called Mea She-arim. I thought about those religious Jerusalem Jews. With the Haredi, I've little in common. But that I did not choose.
We're worlds and miles apart. But in some ways, I think a lot as they. I'm faithful, steadfast and true. I never fit in either. Perhaps I just envy their tight-knit way.
I wish I had the what they have. I don't mean the tallit or furry hat. I'm born again Catholic, plus I'm a girl. And happy to be that.
The part I covet is family. Not covet but I think you see. The value they place on their kids. Compared to how little mine thought of me.
I ponder their collective closed community. Requests for modesty on the wall. All for one and none singled out. Was not my experience at all.
Signs to cover what's private. To protect the kids was the purpose of those. What I had was rules for me, not thee. I wore funny dresses, she donned the hooker clothes.
(so maybe this will be in verse)
So no, not covet. I'm not jealous of the orthodox, as such. I don't want to take what they've got. I just wish I had had as much.
It isn't about them, it's the family circle. I would have liked to be part of a chain. A vital, important and loved Not kicked out and left in the rain.
To be united with out arms linked. To be kept safe within the loop. Enfolded, enclosed, connected. Part of, not separated from the group.
It would have been so nice to look out the window, to be sheltered from the rain. I bet it was warm inside peering out. I know it was cold outside, pressing my face to the pane.
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