Showing posts with label catholic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label catholic. Show all posts

Advent Musings--Week Two, Hope

This is an Advent essay I wrote. Week 2 of Advent focuses on hope and here are my thoughts on that. 

He slams into his second grade classroom, like a Lord of Flatbush, late as usual, angry as always. He must have read Hitler's Mein Kompf, about the way to make a grand entrance. Arrive late; leave early. He does. He hides, sneaks off and causes adults to hunt for him whenever possible. Despite weighing at sub-pee-wee weight, about 50# and reaching only to my belly button, he packs a lot of p*ss and vinegar.

Flaxen blond hair in a military cut, darting cornflower blue eyes always watching to see if teacher is noticing his antics (I am, but avoiding the reinforcement of negative attention). Pale, unhealthy skin, translucent to show dark shadows under the eyes (allergies, lack of sleep, poor nutrition, too much TV or a combination). Thin wrists and fingers, he always looks tired, cold and lonely, despite his belligerence. As though being mean is the only thing that keeps him going. 


 He does everything he can think of to get into trouble. He goes to the office and causes more trouble. Nobody is really sure just what to do with him or for him. Calling home is no solution. Parents can't (won't?) make him behave. No judgement. Mom and dad are both working hard to provide. There are four children in the family. In Michigan we've got the distinction having the highest unemployment rate. Jobs are scarce, especially is you didn't or couldn't get a good education. Even if you did, we have teachers selling shoes to make ends meet.

Recess time: Michigan windchill in the single digits and snow blowing sideways. I help 48 feet get into 48 boots. I check 24 warm coats and snow pants to make sure that they are are zipped up snugly. There are no snow-pants or boots for one student. You can guess who. Oh there's a coat but it's a man's large with a broken zipper. I've got playground duty. Even dressed in my warm clothes, I can feel the annual winter laryngitis setting in. He stays in the alcoves of the school to stay warm. Standing by an unused door, he shouts and hollers to drum up a crowd. I know that he's hiding out to stay warm; showing off to cover up that fact. He's not hurting anything. Just making a lot of noise.

Another sub is in the room next door. She's insecure and wants to prove herself. It's funny how you just know this about people. No judgement. Well maybe just a bit. Leave the attitude at the office if you're going to do our job. She marches to the unused door and pulls the loud one in. Startled, (the students never use this door) he shifts nervously from one foot to the other. 

He's been having a great day so far and I'm tickled (so are the other kids). Are we making a nanometer of progress? Under her withering criticism and menacingly soft-shaming voice, I can see his tiny, poorly clad back go up (apparently she doesn't notice that this kid hasn't even got proper clothes?) I guess yelling on the playground is forbidden in her book. She has obviously "been trained" to "deal" with this-sort-of-child". And she does. Coldly. Ruthlessly. Stupidly.

Fools rush in where angels fear to tread. I'm no angel, but I have common sense and I choose my battles. I don't step in, I never question an adult in front of a child. But I almost did. She had marched him to his classroom and the facetiousness in her voice made me sick. She had her gotcha moment, done and dusted. Would a little kindness have cost her so much? We were both going to gone the next day to other jobs? Why was it so damned important to win against this child who obviously had a lot stacked against him? 


As I walked him down the hall, he muttered to me "I didn't know she could hear me." I was on a thin line here. I didn't want to confuse him by criticizing her. I didn't want to undermine her. I said, "well, each teacher has her own style. It's not mine. And now you know that people can hear you."  I can't even say, "go back outside and enjoy your recess, because clearly, he can't, it being too cold." Predictably, his behavior spiraled downward after that. 

So what do we do with a kid like that? Spare the rod and spoil the child? I can't see that he's been spoiled much. I'm only a sub, but I talked with his teacher about what to do. I said I'd like to donate a whole brand-new winter outfit: snow pants, coat, gloves, hat, boots. Leave them in the office with a note: With Love to D-- . But what about the other 3 kids in his family ? I can't really afford the first set of clothes, let alone four complete sets. He's not the only kid in the school who could use an upgrade in winter clothing, either. And what about the family? Will they be embarrassed? Will I be 'enabling' them? I don't even care. I just can't stand to see a cold kid.

My Advent hope is in the coming of Our Lord. It's also that there is some way that I can help these kids.


Sister Michael and the Prayer of the Damned

Another vignette of paranormal prose, the tingle you to your toes. "Remind me why I wanted to go to SMGC?"' Monika wondered aloud as she lugged six industrial strength textbooks and her laptop out of the BKT (Bl. Kateri Tekakwitha) Library on All Hallow's Eve. The university was lovely, old and very secluded. Way off the beaten track in the middle of Michigan's Upper Peninsula, which was all off the beaten track to start with.

''Remind me why I wanted to go to SMGC again?', Monika wondered aloud as she lugged six industrial size textbooks, assorted notes and files and her laptop out of the BKTL (Bl. Kateri Tekakwitha Library) on All Hallows Eve. The university was lovely, old and very secluded. Way off the beaten track in the middle of Michigan's Upper Peninsula, which was all off the beaten track already, halfway between Forgotten Town and Middle of Nowhereville. 

The BKTL smelled of wood, lemon Pledge and generations of academia. The early Victorian buildings with their lower level of beautiful windows and glass-work, so reflective on the nearby lake, were built shortly after the Civil War, by the Sisters of Mercy, some of whom, it was rumored, still haunted the place. In a kindly, nun-ish way. Well, if you were stuck out in those deep back dune woods, you would have nothing better to do either. 

St. Maria Goretti College was a private, all girls school renown for its highly accredited courses in the  Turkic, Slavic, Cyrillic and (believe it or not) Hindi languages. Which Monika would need for her calling to work in missions schools in India. An Irish American teaching Indian languages to Indians, whatever will they think of next, she laughed to herself. Well, teaching children in their native tongue, that is. She was sure she'd be learning a lot more than she would be teaching.  

Monika Mary Dalaigh was every bit as Scots-Irish as her name. What a combination! Oh did people make with the hot-head-redhead Gaelic temper jokes. Oldest girl of a Catholic family of nine, Monika had known at three that she was going to become a nun and go to Calcutta to help the Untouchables like Blessed Mother Theresa. Four years at SMGC was the first step on that road.

When it came to looks, Monika's sisters Faustina Rose of Lima (yes they named her the full thing, poor kid. Like Rose 'a Sharn in Grapes of Wrath, but anyway) and Philomena Bernadette (try putting that on a driver's license) got most of what was dished out. Their dark auburn curls fell in the Byronic soft tendrils. Unlike Monika's tresses which tended toward Titian, frizzy and Pre-Raphaelite dead girl in a boat. But no matter once she took  the veil. 

And looks aside, in the corpus mensa and common sense department, Monika Mary was fully stocked. Six older brothers had removed any shyness, squeamishness or girliness. Two pretty, petted younger sisters had removed any illusions of being the baby. And who'd want it anyway when there was so much world to conquer? 

As was her wont, Monika Mary in her third year at St. Maria Goretti, was still closing down the library at night, even on a holy day. Mass had been said by Father Marc at 6pm. After dinner and compline, most of the girls, even the younger ones who should be studying, were curled up in bed or watching TV in the common room which had the only television on campus. 

Times had changed around the world, but not much had changed at SMGC. Monika was surprised that elderly librarian, Sr. Michael had agreed to keep the BKT open until 10pm. Apparently she understood about time waiting for no one, not even on All Saints. Sister was locking offices, gathering her belongings and Monika was leaving.

"Goodnight, dear. Why don't you wait and I'll walk you back to your dormitory?' the fully habited nun asked.

"I'll be fine, Sister. Really, though I appreciate the offer." Monika smiled and patted Sr. Michael's fragile, ancient, liver spotted hand.

The air was biting cold and smelt of the eastern hemlock so prevalent in old growth Michigan forests. Monika thought she just might be able to smell Lake Superior to the north. The tree frogs and crickets were giving a concert on the still autumn evening. The mist was just beginning to form off the little lake, and as the moon rose, the mirrored windows of the BKT Library came into view. It made everything look carved in bas relief, like Keats' "Grecian Urn." Monika was just mentally composing a poem about the view when suddenly...

"Don't scream!' a voice growled in her ear. Monika almost choked, more at being startled than in fear as the clammy hand clamped over her mouth. The smell of cheap liquor and sweat and the intense pressure of a body pressed very close shocked Monika out of Bodleian musings. She bridled at the hand irritably but had the presence of mind not to struggle too much. 

She could hear cursing and scuffling and got a glimpse of several NU sweatshirts, students from the nearby university, she assessed, out drunk on Halloween and looking for whatever passed for fun in that state of mind. The hand came away and the other arm and body did not. Oh, we're in for a long night, Monika thought. 

Sweaty Palms said "We came here to see the ghost nuns, but this is even better! You're not bad, for a neo-nun! I'll show you what's under my robe if you show me what's under yours!" Monika could feel her arm bending painfully far back. And a very nasty sensation of hands groping around her jacket. The group began to laugh and make noises doing God only knows what, Monika thought. 

And tailgating that thought came the sickening realization that one very senior nun was coming down the path after her and five or so young girls and another equally old nun were snuggled on couches in the common room watching an old movie, totally unprotected. It wasn't anger or fear she felt, just a very clear quiet settling of the mind down to basics of survival. 

Prayer was something Monika was finding increasingly less time for. SMGC had a policy that each student must spend an hour each day in adoration in front of the Blessed Sacrament. Truth be told, Monika often spent her hour studying or in slumber. But like atheists in foxholes, Monika found herself praying and praying hard. "'St Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil...'

"Yeah, baby, you pray, cause I'm the devil and I've got a pitchfork for you!" Too intent on concentrating her energy on vigilance, Monika bit down the angry comments she was thinking. Which was probably for the best. Keeping quiet and biddable were not her strong suits. More groping ensued and what sounded like a belt unbuckling and zipping pants. Oh, God, please, not this not now. But if it keeps their minds off the others, well, help me just get through it. 

Suddenly, an eerie yellow-green glow appeared wobbly against the sky but growing larger. The sounds of drunken laughter zipped to a silence like a record player needle dragged across a record. In fact everything was weirdly silent, except for thin strange almost demonic sounds of incantation.  It was absolutely terrifying. 

Walking in front of the glow was what appeared to be an army of grim reapers, all about fifteen feet tall, holding scythes. Small points of brightly colored lights darted around like tiny flames which seemed to crackle and sizzle. It was as if the demons were shooting at them with the fires of hell. Joining the incantation were mutated grunts and unintelligible moans issuing from the group of specters. Everyone, including Monika stood paralyzed. Nearer, louder and brighter came the phantom brigade. If this is what hell is like, the movies don't do it justice, Monika thought. 

In less time than it takes to zip up a zipper, Monika's captors had hightailed into the night. Their shrieks of terror lingering on the mist. It would have been funny if it wasn't so frightening. And Monika was left to face the demon horde alone. Now was when Monika was most glad she'd inherited the Irish practicality instead of the auburn locks. Because as bizarre as this whole scene appeared, she knew without a doubt that it had a rational, non-spook movie explanation. And it did. 

From amid the shadows, a loud but very human voice boomed out "Oh, Hello Monika, dear, are you still out?" And a very corporeal elderly nun approached Monika. Sister Michael closed her Latin prayer breviary and placed her jeweled rosary which she had been praying, inside her scrip. She snapped off the old Sony Walkman with which she'd been praying along with the recorded Latin prayers. 

"Oh dear, I'm still wearing this silly cordless microphone from lecture today. I must bumped it and turned it on. I'll never figure out how to use it properly. No wonder there was such a racket as I was praying. I thought it was racoons!  Would you mind holding this while I turn it off? Sister Benedict needs a sickle for play rehearsal, but this staff from the St. Patrick's procession is the best I could find. I hope it looks close enough to the real thing. By the way, what do you think of the new outdoor burglar lights for the library. I really don't think they are quite bright enough, do you? Though I don't suppose we'll ever need them. This is such a peaceful little wood." 

After what seemed like about three hours, Monika breathed and on the great exhale, laughed aloud. "Believe me Sister, the staff makes a very convincing sickle. And I think the lights are just right. I think they'll scare off any burglars that might be around!" 

*Monika never told anyone about that night. However a closeted meeting with the NU dean, yielded a most interesting story. Evidentially he was concerned for the SMGU staff and students about reports of ghostly goings-on at All Saints. And Monika felt obliged to allay his fears with an account of what happened. The howls of laughter from the Dean could be heard across campus. He was still laughing as he drove away. After extracting a promise from the sisters that they all would attend complimentary Jujitsu classes at NU, just to be safe. 

What was Christmas like for Mary, Our Blessed Mother?

What was Christmas like for Mary, Our Blessed Mother? I began this article in a more devotional vein, but found myself stuck on a part of Christmas that I had never given much thought to. What was Christmas like for Mary, mother or Jesus, our Blessed mother? I know that some Protestants are uncomfortable, even to the point of accusing blasphemy for calling Mary by her rightful titles: Mother of God, Queen of Heaven, Our Blessed Mother. I, like St. Paul, was one of the accusers, 'in fact one of the worst' at one time. Being pretty smart and smart-mouthed, I could out argue anyone. Being born and raised in a protestant environment, I knew nothing little about Notre Dame and what I had been taught was protestant anti-Catholic apologetics. Consequently, I was pretty vehement in her criticism. But the I went and married this Catholic guy, had kids, went to the grotto of Lourdes and accidentally fell in love with 'the lady of sorrows'....but that's another story. Back to the Mary of Christmas. Now even if I could make a case that Mary was not immaculately conceived (which I would not do), there are some glaring points in the Christmas story which prove unequivocally that Mary was and is Regina, Queen of Heaven. Read on...

An All Souls Day Essay on Honesty



All Souls Day Stories: An Honest Little Boy
It's All Souls Day, and I'm feeling reminiscent. After homeschooling for years, it seems a little odd not to be wrapped up in holy day and holiday preparations. Here's a little story to warm you for the holy day. It's true.
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