To heal the pain inside
Easy does it does it best.
after years of hurry hurry
it's time for me to rest
But it's a damned struggle
to let hypervigilance go
to stop the all the catering
and go with my own flow
Years of abuse by narcissists
how I despise that word
their shaming and their mocking
they're all so bloody absurd
cruel words and dirty deeds
going round in my head
like a record player skipping
replaying all the shit they said
they don't even hush when they're dead
I'm lazy, selfish and disobedient
when I gave up my life for them all
oh and oversensitive to their "jokes"
how my childish breasts were too small
So now rest don't come easy
it's hard to ease my barmy brain
sleep only comes with nightmares
Which just regurgitate old pain
Whatever this means, I'm trying
to let tranquility be my guide
with St. Francis I'm praying but
there's nothing but turmoil inside
If I keep looking maybe the
proverbial haystack needle I'll find
some healing balm to salve
and repair my shell-shocked mind
Searching for Lady Serenity
so my long-lost sister can lead
hoping that together we two
can plant happy memory seed.
